Meet Your Parts: The Basics of Internal Family Systems

When your therapist asks if you’d like to try something called Internal Family Systems (IFS), you might be a bit hesitant. (Why the heck is my therapist asking me to describe my critical self-talk as a “part” …and give it a name?? Now I’m supposed to ask it questions!?)

Fair enough. It might sound a little woo-woo at first. However, if you think about it, most of us describe ourselves using parts language… for example: “part of me wants to write a blog about IFS to help clients find inner peace, and part of me wants to online shop for clothes so my clients don’t think I’m an outfit repeater.” Through IFS parts work, a therapist’s goal is to help clients identify conflicting thoughts and feelings, explore and honor their motivations and desires, and finally work with all parts towards integration. 

IFS is an evidence-based integrative approach to psychotherapy that was developed by Richard C. Schwartz in the 1980s. The IFS Institute summarizes IFS as a model that “conceives of every human being as a system of protective and wounded inner parts led by a core Self.” So, what do they mean by core “Self” and “inner parts?” Let’s dig in.

Self:

• A core authentic part of every person that is calm, compassionate, and wise (similar to DBT’s wise mind)
• Unlike various parts of the personality that may carry different emotions or behaviors, the Self is seen as the true, centered identity that can provide leadership and healing to the other parts

Parts:

• Distinct sub-personalities or aspects of the mind (think Pixar’s Inside Out!), each with its own feelings, desires, and roles
• Parts are not pathological; they are natural and often protective. IFS categorizes parts into three main types:
  • Exiles: parts that carry deep emotional wounds, such as pain, fear, or shame
  • Managers: parts that work to keep a person functioning and in control by managing day-to-day life and suppressing exiles to avoid emotional pain
  • Firefighters: parts that emerge in reaction to exiled emotions when they become overwhelming, using impulsive or extreme behaviors to numb or distract

The goal of IFS interventions is to develop a relationship between the Self and each part, allowing healing and harmony within the internal system. It can be helpful to use real-life scenarios, so here’s a fictionalized client case:

Beth (she/her) was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD as an adult and sought therapy to help her navigate shame around missing deadlines at work. At first, Beth described herself as a perfectionist and a hard worker, then she contradicted herself by saying she’s actually really lazy and clearly bad at her job. Beth explained that in order to stay employed, she must get on the ball. How? Beth orders herself to “just snap out of it” and “push through like she always does.” …but the most aggravating thing keeps happening! In response to these pep talks, Beth doesn’t suddenly find the motivation she’s been searching for. Instead, she finds herself on the couch zoning out to Love Island marathons. Cue the shame. Rinse and repeat.

Based on Schwartz’s IFS model, how might Beth’s therapist approach this cycle with her? An IFS-informed therapist sits intently with a client’s emotions, listens to the language they use, and observes their body language. A shift in one of these areas can indicate the presence of distinct parts. To that end, Beth’s therapist would likely be curious about the following parts: 

• Beth’s Self: core part that identifies caring about work and putting in effort
• Beth’s exile: part that feels shame
• Beth’s manager: solution-focused part that gives “pep talk”
• Beth’s firefighter: part that avoids shame by numbing out to TV

In order for Beth’s core Self to reassign her manager and firefighter parts to new jobs, they must 1) feel reassured that Beth’s exile will be tended to; 2) feel understood and appreciated for how they’ve protected Beth over the years; 3) feel unburdened from any emotional pain, beliefs, or behaviors developed as a result of trauma or difficult experiences. 

As each part is unburdened and integrated, Beth’s internal family system becomes more balanced. The Self takes on a leadership role, and her parts can step out of their rigid protective roles to function more cooperatively. This creates a sense of inner peace and wholeness. Integration doesn’t mean Beth’s parts disappear; rather, they work together in harmony under the guidance of the Self.

If you’re interested in exploring parts work, please note that this is simply an introduction to IFS and isn’t meant to serve as a comprehensive guide. Please talk to your therapist or inquire with support@sagetherapy.com for an IFS-informed therapist.

You may also wish to read No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz via Sage Therapy’s Recommended Reading page.