The transition into parenthood can signify many important changes. For fathers, this can signify that the person the father once was prior to the welcoming of their child must not be the same upon welcoming fatherhood into their lives. From personal experience and from conversations with others, this transition into a new chapter of life can be filled with fear, worry, exhilaration, excitement, and hope. All fair and valid feelings of what being a parent, and a father can be. 

Research has suggested that the fatherhood identity being formed, differing challenges, as well as fears and concerns regarding a father’s new role in life can impact the mental health and wellbeing of first-time fathers (Baldwin et al., 2018). So much so that some soon to be fathers have also expressed that their partners’ pregnancies can be an unsettling time for them as they have to go into fatherhood inexperienced, and prepare for this new role in life. A study by Meleagrou-Hitchens (2022) also noted that fathers often felt lonely and unsupported while both parents prepare for birth. The uncertainty of how to properly raise a child, or even being unsure of what the right way to parent is, is valid for all new fathers to experience.

In recent years, fathers have also been noted to be more hands on in their parental roles than in the past. Such that the Institute for Family Studies (2023) notes that within the past 20 years, fathers have spent on average more hours in child care for those with children under the age of 18. With these positive changes that the role of fatherhood has seen, one can argue that while the presenting feelings and thoughts about this new role in life are evermore present, the experience gained would also be more significant; not only for the fathers but for those around them.

Speaking from personal experience, I can say that transitioning into fatherhood can be both a frightening yet exciting experience. I did not know what to expect prior to birth, nor did I know what to expect post birth. Yet at the same time, there could not be a stronger sense of curiosity, excitement, and overwhelm when the chapter finally came. While I did not have any clue how to care for a newborn at the time, I also did not want to let go of the little one either. It was and continues to be a wonderfully curious experience navigating fatherhood.

I say this here to validate and acknowledge for all expectant and new fathers that you are not alone in feeling any fears and mixed curiosities. Fatherhood is a new role that we undoubtedly have no experience in, and are navigating blindly as we go along.

This article will address the psychological changes that occur with men transitioning into fatherhood. We will also address ways to support new fathers navigating the new role.

Change in Roles / Identity

The fundamentals and traits of being a parent include being present and loving; and have less to do with gender or biological sex. Social norms have created specific roles that associate with being a parent. The father role can be understood as one’s individualized experiences of fatherhood and the function of being a father in the context of parenthood. Us as parents enact our role through specific behaviors expected by someone in that experience; and is also defined by their ideas of what it means to be a father. 

This means the role of father can be defined as how the father wants to be seen as a parent. Whether it’s through how we raise our children, the behaviors we want them to learn, what we want to teach them, the father role as it’s defined here stems from one’s personal thoughts, beliefs, and understanding in any given moment as it relates to guiding his children.

In speaking about identity, I would say fathers typically redefine their lifestyle when adding a new piece into the “pie” that creates their identity. For example, parts of their identity might already include husband, partner, gamer, etc. To add “father” as a part of that pie, this can shift their perspective on what areas of life to prioritize. Their behaviors and responses are guided accordingly to this shift in life. One’s identity as a father stems from characteristics based on what they see as being a father, what it means, the experience it comes with, and how this changes their view on life.

Biological / Hormonal Changes

Many expectant fathers might assume that hormonal changes mostly apply to the change in their female partner, with nothing to do with their own changes in their biology and hormones. Upon entering fatherhood, many changes in biology can occur within the first year after childbirth. As some hormones lower and others increase, our brains get rewired to prepare for specific responses that are needed of us as fathers; giving us critical skills for childcare such as sensitivity to crying and recognizing specific cues, and creating pathways to bond deeply on an emotional level.

These changes might occur differently and be responded to differently from person to person. For some, observing the strong emotional needs of a helpless infant can be an opportunity to learn how to provide support for not only the infant, but the partner as well. For others, the opposite, where that awareness leads to a doorway that allows a revisitation of some of the more sensitive moments in life and needs that were not addressed due to traditional gender roles.

Emotional and Developmental Challenges

In addition to the understood feelings and changes that come up transitioning into fatherhood, this change can also provide a space for growth and healing. Such that fatherhood can provide opportunities to revisit unmet needs and learn how to provide them for their own children. These psychological changes do not come easy and can be scary when revisiting what may have been missing in one’s own childhood. However, fathers can show healing and growth through resolving those internal conflicts whether through finding a proper support system or pursuing therapy for themselves.

Ways to Support / Supports for New Fathers

With fathers seen now as being more hands on in caring for newborn babies and recovering mothers, understandably navigating this phase of fatherhood can be stressfully impacting for any household. That said, I would argue that fathers similarly experience postpartum mental health difficulties not unlike their partners would. While this is a chapter of transforming identity and learning new roles, support is also important for expectant and new fathers. 

For fathers who may be feeling disconnected or isolated, I would encourage:

• Seeking active support and resources that you can rely on; whether it be family support or friends. Fathers may oftentimes believe they have to take care of everything themselves with a recovering spouse. This can only further the stress and disconnect; and seeking that familial support can ease the load off your shoulders.
• Seeking support or feedback from others who are already fathers, and perhaps seeking a group of dads to interact with. Companionship for fathers is equally as important as fulfilling the father role as these interactions can further grow your identity as a father.
• Finding ways to manage your mental health whether it be through individual therapy or finding space in a busy day to decompress.

For those who know someone who has recently entered fatherhood, I would encourage asking if you could:

• Help out with anything. Sometimes it is hard to take on more roles than expected, not to mention the sleep deprivation. Offering to give the new father a break from some things such as taking care of a pet or offering to watch the baby while he sleeps can give him a chance to recharge.
• Similarly, offering to help out around the house whether it be logistical support or setting up meals can take one less thing off their shoulders.
• Simply talk to the new father. At the end of the day, sometimes providing support might just be being there for him. That can look like offering to hang out, talk about (or not talk about) the baby, or even lending an open ear while the new father adjusts to his new piece of identity.

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Closing Thoughts

In closing, becoming a new father can be a great shift in life. However, it can also provide new challenges to face, old scars to heal, and being vulnerable in seeking support. While fathers have been shown to be more active in their newborn’s life, it can also mean a greater deal of vulnerability and finding support that might be needed for them. Every new father will navigate fatherhood differently. At the same time, I imagine they will also navigate very similar challenges, whether it be biological, social, relational, or emotional.

Through active self-care, support seeking, and reflecting on the importance of the new roles and identities you now have, new fathers can better provide for, care, and love on their new baby in a way that is significant for you. A therapeutic space can also be helpful in processing the new life adventure. It is undoubtedly a new frontier, with many chapters and exciting adventures to come.

References:

• Baldwin, S., Malone, M., Sandall, J., & Bick, D. (2018). Mental health and wellbeing during the transition to fatherhood: a systematic review of first time fathers' experiences. JBI database of systematic reviews and implementation reports, 16(11), 2118–2191.
• Lee-anne Meleagrou-hitchens, Carla Willig. Men's experience of their transition to first-time fatherhood during their partner's pregnancy: an interpretative phenomenological analysis. Journal of Men's Health. 2022. 18(1);1-11.
• Want, W. (n.d.). American dads are more involved than ever-especially college-educated or married Dads. Institute for Family Studies. https://ifstudies.org/blog/american-dads-are-more-involved-than-everespecially-college-educated-or-married-dads.