Setting Meaningful Goals for Therapy

You may be familiar with the rumination process before starting therapy. “What are my therapy goals? What do I want to work on?” When starting therapy, we can be overwhelmed with a multitude of goals, or be completely lost on where to start. Whatever you may be seeking help with, setting clear and meaningful goals is a main part of the process and can set up structure and goal posts for your journey. Goals also provide direction and a framework for you and your therapist to measure progress. As a therapist, I know that coming up with goals can be difficult to articulate. Many people experience a sort of “writer’s block” when it comes to setting goals. Many issues can be very complex and layered, so it can seem like a huge task to define what you want to achieve in therapy in a simplified statement. In this post, we'll explore examples of goals, the importance of setting goals, how to set approachable and meaningful goals, and how to effectively communicate with your therapist about them throughout your therapeutic relationship.

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Reasons to Set Goals in Therapy

Setting goals in therapy serves several purposes:

1. Direction: Goals provide a guideline and sense of purpose for the therapeutic process, providing a framework that you and your therapist can use to help add some structure to your sessions. If you often feel overwhelmed with the amount of things to discuss or feel lost about where to start, you can always have your goals to come back to and check progress on or remind you of what to look for as you review events of the week.

2. Motivation: Clear goals can increase motivation and engagement in the therapeutic process by giving you something tangible to work towards. For example, if you know you want to work on managing your anger, you can be mindful of your anger levels throughout the week and remember that you are “officially” on the path of improving this skill. Agreeing on goals with your therapist allows your therapist to be someone to keep you accountable in your goals while also providing support and encouragement.  

3. Measurement of Progress: Goals help us to measure progress, helping you track the progress you’ve made since initially setting the goal. Progress checks can happen however often you would like. Some therapists can help you do a progress check once a month, or once every 6 months. 

4. Focus: By identifying your goals, you can narrow down on specific issues or areas of your life that you want to address in therapy. There can often be a plethora of issues that we feel we need to improve on, but using goals can help put certain topics under an umbrella. Your therapist can help you find the through line in some of these issues. For example, if you have problems with arguing in your relationship, are having problems with your manager at work around meeting expectations, and haven’t been getting along with a family member, you can set a goal of improving communication skills–something that connects with all 3 of these problems.

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Identifying Meaningful Therapy Goals

‍Reflect on Your Values: 

Take some time to reflect on your mental health priorities and what changes you would like to see in yourself long-term. Think about domains of your life that you would like to see a change in, such as friendships, romantic relationships, your self esteem and confidence levels, and/or career satisfaction. Think about your values to help guide you to determine what is important to your life and what resonates most with your internal compass. 

Set Realistic and Approachable Goals (extension of SMART goals): 

Setting realistic goals can be a way for many clients to practice self compassion. Those of us who struggle with perfectionism and high functioning anxiety can feel a compulsion to set unrealistic or very high standards for goals. This is like going from 0 to 100 when you are starting therapy and setting such high standards for yourself. Changing aspects of yourself is a tough task, and it is important you give yourself achievable goal marks so you are not overly self critical or discouraged by a sense of failing when you do not meet these marks right away. 

An example of an unrealistic goal may be: “eliminating anxiety symptoms”. Compare this with a more realistic goal: “develop coping mechanisms to help manage anxiety symptoms in times of stress.” 

It’s not likely that your anxiety will disappear within the next 6 months, but you can more likely increase your ability to use coping mechanisms that will help manage your symptoms in the moment. Setting a more approachable goal can help it feel more meaningful as you practice self compassion and patience with yourself. 

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How to Talk to Your Therapist About Setting Goals

Open and honest communication with your therapist is essential for setting meaningful therapy goals and for keeping yourself accountable throughout your therapeutic journey.

Bring Up The Topic Of Goals At Any Point: 

Your therapist should typically discuss goals with you in the beginning of your therapeutic relationship, but you should also bring up the topic of goal-setting at any point in your sessions. If you never set clear goals with your therapist, don’t be afraid to initiate this conversation. And post this stage, if you ever feel like you want to discuss your progress or make changes to your goals (see next point), then your therapist should welcome revisiting this conversation at any point as well!‍

Change Goals if They No Longer are in Line with Your Values or Do Not Resonate with You Anymore: 

Yes, goals can change! Life is dynamic and always changing–friendships, environments, careers, and even values can change. Your goals do not have to be set in stone until you achieve them. Welcome this change and discussing it with your therapist can help you process these changes and welcome them with no judgment. 

Here are some examples of goals that may help get you started: 

• Develop better coping skills for managing anxiety in times of stress
• Implement more productive communication skills for problem solving in relationships
• Understand my trauma symptoms and explore their roots
• Use more mindfulness practices every day to increase ability to use self validation and increase self esteem

These are just some examples of approachable long term goals that are not overwhelming and can feel attainable with the right paired short term goals and dedication!

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Conclusion

Setting meaningful goals is an important step towards achieving positive change and growth in therapy. By identifying clear and meaningful goals, you can help your motivation levels, add direction, and redefine levels of success. Remember that taking initiative in discussing your goals may be necessary and that you have every right to do so! Therapy takes time, energy, and money and you should feel like you are getting the most out of it that you can. Goal setting can look different depending on your therapist’s theoretical orientation. In order to get the most out of therapy, you may need to communicate your preferences and see if they align with your therapist’s approach. With dedication and a collaborative approach, you can practice self discipline and learn self compassion and validation along the way!

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Resources

• Exploration of values worksheet
• Setting Goals worksheet

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